Every one of us has a part to play in ending gender-based violence

Dear Fellow South African, 

Today marks the start of 16 Days of Activism for No Violence against Women and Children. Since its inception this global campaign has drawn support from organisations and activists in more than 187 countries, including in South Africa. 

Violence against women and children in our country is pervasive. Women and children are being beaten, assaulted and killed in the streets, in the workplace, at places of learning, and in their homes. 

Women and children are supposed to feel most safe within the home. Yet it is within the home where the majority of the world’s victims of gender-based violence die at the hands of men. A new report by UN Women has found that around 60% of victims of femicide in 2023 were killed in a domestic setting by someone close to them.

Intimate partner violence remains the most prevalent form of gender-based violence in South Africa. In the first South African National Gender-Based Violence Study, which was released by the Human Sciences Research Council (HSRC) last week, a fifth of all men surveyed said they had committed sexual or physical violence against their partners.

Sexism is at the root of these crimes: the belief that men and boys are superior to women and girls. We must therefore address head-on the idea that women are the ‘property’ of their husbands and boyfriends, and that they can be beaten, abused and even killed at whim. 

We must address the economic dimension, where men think they have the right over the bodies of their wives because they are breadwinners, or because they finance the lifestyles of their girlfriends. Many women find themselves trapped in situations of economic dependence, feeling they have to put up with abuse because the alternative is destitution. 

The fight to end gender-based violence must begin with prevention.

This means, among other things, that we must address the way many men and boys are raised and the way they are socialised. 

Last year, I participated in a Young Men and Boys Indaba. What struck me during this engagement is the important role of socialisation. These young men had an inherent sense of empathy towards their female relatives and classmates, and understood that men and women have equal rights. 

But at some point in their lives, they were exposed to a form of toxic masculinity in which ill-treating women is seen as macho and manly. Treating women with respect is seen as weak or ‘simping’. It is deeply troubling to witness how this has taken hold among the younger generation and online. 

Young men and boys must be educated on the importance of equality between men and women. They must appreciate the value of healthy relationships as opposed to transactional arrangements. Young men must be taught the importance of consent.

We therefore applaud the many men who have come forward to sign the Pledge for South African Men to End Gender-Based Violence, either in person or online. We encourage more men to make this stand by signing the pledge and through their daily conduct towards women. 

Gender-based violence thrives in a climate of silence. Women are often told by family members or religious, traditional and community leaders to go and ‘work things out’ with husbands who are beating them. This must stop. 

Other men are sometimes part of the problem. By remaining silent when they know that their friends, classmates or co-workers are abusers, they are complicit in the crime. Perpetrators of such acts should be isolated. It should be made clear that their actions are unacceptable and reported to the police. 

We need to create safe spaces – whether in schools, religious settings, workplaces or police stations – where women can speak freely about experiences of abuse, and where they can find care and support.

Workplaces must strictly enforce laws against sexism in the workplace. There must be far greater consideration and accommodation of female workers when it comes to working late and to providing more security in isolated work facilities. 

Just as gender-based violence affects everyone, so too we must all work together to overcome it. We need all community, civic and religious formations to form part of this effort. At this time of activism, we must mobilise businesses, trade unions, academic communities and public servants to get involved. 

During this year’s 16 Days of Activism let us continue to work together to make our country safer for women and children. 

We must all play our part. We must all speak up and speak out. 

None of us must look away.